Gosh it’s hot

I am lucky enough to have attended dozens, probably hundreds, of weddings over the past 30+ years. As a musician, I am blessed to perform at these events, enhancing the miracle that is the joining of two lives into one. I love everything about it. Seeing the dresses and flowers, listening to the service, watching as two people in love bind their lives together. I’ve been to large weddings and tiny ones, and everything in between. It’s wonderful to be a part of it, to join with the congregation in supporting the newly married couple. I enjoy seeing the different choices the couples make, often evidencing their personalities as individuals and as a pair. What I don’t enjoy: the trend for outdoor weddings.

Now if we were in Maui, or even in Florida, I might understand (although there’s an awful lot of rain in Florida). Instead of cello perhaps I could learn the ukelele, which would be perfect for a beach wedding. But classical string instruments, especially cellos (endpens sink into the ground), are not ideal for outdoor playing. We have to secure our music to the stand to keep it from blowing away, so it takes longer to turn pages and switch to the next piece. (I know, you’d think I have Pachelbel’s Canon and A Thousand Years memorized by now, but those aren’t the only things we play!) There could be rain. There could be snow! It could be 40 degrees. It could be 105 degrees! The outdoors is beautiful, but notoriously bad acoustically, so it’s possible no one will hear us. There are birds. There are insects. And did I mention the wind?

I once played a duet wedding that was so cold and windy we tried to play in gloves (not my best performance). The wind was so strong our music stands wouldn’t stay up, so we propped the music (fortunately on a single iPad) on a giant rocking chair (the only heavy chair available) and used our feet to try and keep it from rocking. Another time, much of the congregation was standing for the ceremony, and a couple of fellas near the musicians were actually laughing, out loud, as we fought the wind. I rather tetchily asked for their help instead of their guffaws (or at least in addition to), and the rest of the service went by with two abashed 20-somethings holding our music to the stands. One small wedding was on the steps of a beautiful chapel. It was so windy the bride had to remove her veil. Why not just move inside?

I’ve played with bugs landing on my music, and on me. I’ve sunk into wet grass, and had my ankles bitten by pests. Insects have crawled into my case while I’m playing, and I once had a gnat fly straight into my eye. I just kept playing with one eye closed. I’ve used bricks to try and keep my stand from blowing over. I’ve shivered through services and sweated through them. We once were playing outside when it started raining and all the musicians had to get up and run into the nearest building. Extreme temperatures aren’t good for my wooden cello (or my human body). But I’m a service provider, I get that. The wedding planners aren’t particularly worried about my comfort. But what about their guests?

I played a lovely (but outdoor) wedding this past weekend. It was, quite literally, 105 degrees. We musicians were able to set up under a large tree, so at least we were in the shade–but the guests weren’t. At some such weddings there are paper fans provided for the congregation, but not at this one. Partway through, a couple of elderly guests gave up and left, which was a better choice than fainting in the heat.

The bride and groom were standing in the sun the whole time. The bride’s beautiful dress was long and heavy; the groom was in a suit. They must have been sweltering! Nature is pretty, I know. I love to be outside–in all kinds of weather (although my cello doesn’t). So take some pictures in the garden, but have the ceremony indoors. Why suffer? Why make your guests suffer? It’s possible that it will be 75 degrees and gorgeous for your ceremony, but here in the Midwest I wouldn’t bet on it.

Curious about this trend, I did the natural thing: I googled it. And sure enough, it’s not me–the number of outdoor weddings is taking off. Nature offers a “stunning backdrop,” and outdoors is “more flexible,” allowing for “greater creativity and customization.” There are dozens of sites extolling the virtues of an outdoor wedding with gorgeous photos of stunning locales. Any notes about the weather must have been hidden deep because I didn’t see anything about how to pivot if there’s a tornado warning (it’s happened!), sudden downpour (ditto), hail (yup) or a heat index of 115 (that too).

I was kvetching about this to a friend last week who later sent me a video of a failed wedding reception in the middle of a downpour. Apparently it is an ad for wedding weather insurance. Is this even real? If there is a certain amount of rain at the exact time of your outdoor festivities, the insurance will pay out. Theoretically. So if you want that additional cost, go for it. But if the weather turns, you haven’t had your party the way you wanted it, whether you are reimbursed or not. My advice (for free!): plan an indoor wedding. You can control almost everything about your event, but you can’t control the weather. As Mark Twain said: “In the spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.” I wonder how many of those weather types would be uncomfortable for an outdoor ceremony?!

You have the rest of your life together to have outdoor parties. There are many beautiful churches and other venues, you can take pictures outside if the weather is nice, and at the end of the day you’ll still be married. And, certainly high on everyone’s list, you won’t have irritated the musicians.