Rubric for a successful day

Wow, there is a lot of stuff on my to-do list today. (Who am I kidding, there’s always a lot of stuff on my to-do list. Life is hard!) Some of my tasks are fun, or at least mostly fun, like finishing the library book that is 15 days overdue or finalizing plans for lunch with a girlfriend. Much of it is not fun, like following up with the dentist’s office that keeps sending me nonsensical bills or catching up on laundry or going to the grocery store or weeding around and staking up my gargantuan tomato plants. (There always seems to be more on the not fun side of the ledger…) When I get to the end of a day like this, I’m often disappointed that so many things remain on the list. Sigh. If I turn in at night still worried about the things I didn’t get done, it’s not a restful night. And then it starts over again the next day.

If I’m honest, I know I won’t ever catch up. There always will be more things to do, errands to run, toilets to clean…fortunately more books to read and friends to see as well, but the list just gets longer. I’m tired of being weighed down by how many things I still have to do. If I’m not going to check off everything on my list, I need to change how I think about each day so I stop feeling unsuccessful. I don’t want to be task-driven (or at least not only task-driven). If I don’t get much done, if my list keeps gets longer, I still want to feel good about my day. The older I get the more important this seems…I don’t want to waste any time when the amount of time I have is constantly dwindling. But my Type A personality demands some sort of rubric–some way to measure how my day went. What should that be?

My college roommate’s father encouraged her to go for a run first thing each morning. That way, he posited, if nothing good happens the rest of the day, at least you’ve done something healthy. I do in fact work out in the mornings (well, usually. Or at least sometimes.) but I don’t want the value of my day to be caught up in something I’ve done only for myself. Not that working out isn’t important, but it’s not what makes my day great. (Although often not working out makes me grumpy…but that’s another post.)

A former colleague of mine says that she tries to accomplish just one thing each day. She didn’t clarify what sorts of things count. I suppose that could be a workout, or checking something off your list, or even just reading the paper or eating breakfast. (Bonus points if you do those last two things together!) Although I like the low bar, I’m not certain that’s the answer for me either.

So what is important to me? Taking care of my family, of course. Trying to stay in good health. Making sure our house doesn’t fall down around our ears. Staying in touch with friends. Nurturing my relationship with God. And living out my personal motto, and the reason I started this blog…to help people find moments of joy and fun.

Is that it? Is my day successful if I’ve found a moment of joy? Or if I’ve helped someone else find it? If I focus on that, instead of what I didn’t get done, perhaps I’ll feel better about each day passing. So how do I find these moments–and help others do the same?

Perhaps it boils down to how I define joy. Merriam-Webster defines it as a feeling of great happiness or pleasure. The American Heritage Dictionary, on the other hand, says it’s intense and especially ecstatic or exultant happiness. Some authorities say that joy must be lasting to be real, but I don’t buy that. You can feel great happiness or pleasure in fleeting moments–in fact you need it. Even on an otherwise blah day–or a terrible one–it is possible to find moments of joy. The key is to look for it.

Once I started looking, I am finding things that bring me joy everywhere. They don’t have to be big (or intense, in spite of the American Heritage people). Things like: the beauty of a sunrise, or sunset. The taste of a tomato, right off the vine and warm from the sun. The fact that even though it’s 90+ degrees outside, I am comfortable because I have air conditioning. The way my sons say “I love you” each time they tell me goodbye. The time that a stranger held the door for me as I was carrying my cello into a building. The picture that my brother sent me just because he thought I’d be interested. The out-of-the-blue text from a far-away friend just to say hi.

I want to be intentional about creating moments of joy for others, too–even if I don’t immediately (or ever) know that my attempts actually worked. Like the heroine in a book I recently read, who leaves $5 bills in library books with notes that say “Good choice–I liked this one too.” Or the people who return their carts at Aldi but leave the quarters in so the next person doesn’t need one. Or the people who plant flowers in public areas, just so others can enjoy them. On a recent walk, I noticed that someone turned a hole in a tree trunk into a gnome home. I laughed when I saw it–and each time I think of it. I don’t know who did it, or how long it will stay there, but what a fun idea. I am certain that I’m not the only person who got a moment of joy from seeing that gnome.

What would the world be like if we all did that–tried to bring joy to others each day? What if we start considering ourselves successful not by the amount of stuff we get done in a day, but by whether we were able to make someone smile? We don’t have to make grand gestures–small ones will do. We don’t have to impact dozens of people–each one matters. And like the person who left the gnome, we don’t even have to know what our impact has been. We just need to make the effort.

Jimmy Durante sang about the importance of making just one someone happy. That is a wonderful goal, but a lot of pressure. I am going to start rating my day as successful if I bring someone joy, just for a moment–no matter how many things on my to-do list remain undone. Won’t you join me?