Happy birthday to everyone!

I am terrible at remembering birthdays. I like to say that unless I am married to you or you came out of my body, I’m not going to remember your birthday. But even that is chancy…I once put my husband’s birthday on the wrong day in the annual picture calendar I make for family. (In my defense, I imported that date from a prior version and it somehow ended up one day earlier, but still…no doubt an importing error on my part and one I didn’t proof. So, still my bad.)

I have many tricks to try and combat this fault. I have many birthdays noted in my electronic calendar, but often don’t notice those. I have a similar problem with the reminders I put in my calendar, which is why I often have them repeat for at least three weeks. Week one: “Schedule oil change.” Week two: “Did you schedule the oil change yet?” Week three: “Schedule oil change before you do one more thing!!” Perhaps I should try that with birthdays: “Aunt Marcia’s birthday is coming up.” “One more week until Aunt Marcia’s birthday!” “Send Aunt Marcia a belated birthday greeting.”

Another gimmick is that my darling husband, who is on Facebook (I am not), will text me when FB reminds him of a birthday for someone we love. It then is my job to send family birthday greetings, which I generally do via text, often after a quick search for a “happy birthday meme.” Success! This method works well if when conditions are just right: Dean checks Facebook (not a given); I see his text and act immediately (also not a given); and of course, if the FB friend has the correct birthday noted. Sometimes we actually catch that (Dean: Facebook says it’s your dad’s birthday today, but didn’t we just celebrate his 80th three months ago?), but more often than not I’m sending a random birthday greeting to a friend who then is reminded how terrible I am at remembering birthdays.

I am trying to move beyond this shortcoming. Instead of feeling bad about this fault…er, characteristic…I’m finding other ways, and days, to celebrate. I still attempt to remember birthdays, but I also want to revel in non-birthdays. So I send cards on random days. I might text, or email, or even (gasp!) call for any reason, or no reason. I bake cakes, cookies, and other sweet treats to share with friends and family just because (and food, as noted in an earlier post, is my love language). I also pray that my friends and family know me well enough that my lack of greetings on birthdays doesn’t mean that I love them less…just that I’ve failed yet again to heed any birthday reminder system.

When my youngest son turned one, his brothers (then three and five) were envious of his birthday candle. Well, who says it has to be your birthday to have candles? So we took turns putting a candle in each of their pieces of cake, lit it, and sang “Happy not-your-birthday to you!” Each boy got to blow out his own candle. We should do this all the time! Live each day like it’s your birthday, or like it’s not your birthday. Life is awesome–celebrate that. Find joy every day.