Celebrate the Doing

In our family, we have a lot of traditions–many, if not most, of which involve food. One of my favorites is getting ice cream and French fries after important events. (Gotta have both sweet and salty!) These important events include things like auditions and contests–music, sports, academics–where our celebration comes after the event but before we know the results. Why? Because we celebrate the doing of the thing, not just the outcome.

In life, there are so many things that do not turn out as we wish. We don’t get the promotion, our team doesn’t win, our prayers aren’t answered the way we want. Sometimes we know the outcome right away, but often there is a break between the effort and the answer. We are nervous, we are relieved, we have so many emotions during that period–but during that time we want to focus on what we did, and not what happens next. The results are out of our control by that time, but we need to laud the endeavor. That is a lesson I believe it is important to learn as young as possible, and something Dean and I have tried to teach our kids. You may have studied hard for that quiz bowl tournament, but the other team knows more or is faster on the buzzers. You may have practiced hours for that audition, but the judge was overly picky and you don’t get the score you wanted. You may have been working hard for years–you deserve that promotion–but the boss chooses someone else.

So we commend the effort. We honor the trying. We go out for ice cream and French fries–the locations vary–and talk about what went well. We don’t focus on the future, we concentrate on the moment. Maybe you’ll make the team, or maybe not. Maybe you’ll get a “gold” rating at that performance, or maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll get that new position–you nailed the interview!–or maybe it will go to an outsider and you’ll have a new boss. Regardless of the result, celebrate the doing. You did it! You took the chance, you prepared in advance, you did your best. The rest is up to someone else. And if it turns out the way you hoped, well–it’s time for another celebration!