The joy of a well-lived life

I have attended three funerals in the last three weeks. I know that doesn’t sound like a promising start for a joyful blog post, but I hope you’ll read on anyway. All three of these services were for people in my parents’ generation, for folks who were beloved by their children, grandchildren, and in two cases, great grandchildren. I only knew one of them personally; for the other two I was there to show support for relatives who are good friends. What was clear from all three services, however, was how much these people did to make others happy. And while there certainly was grief on display, there also was joy. Joy in the conviction that each person now is in heaven and out of pain, and also joy in having been a part of their lives.

Now I’m no Pollyanna (okay, maybe I sort of am), and I do recognize that memorial services are not places to focus on the hard times or the pain or the darkness. Memorial services are places to focus on all the good–the fun trips, the practical jokes, all the times that you smiled together, laughed together, and were happy together. If you don’t do that, you can be overwhelmed by the darkness. I believe that is true of every day–and in fact is the reason for this blog. We all have terrible days–as the Dread Pirate Roberts said, “Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.” However, we need to look for reasons to smile even in the midst of our pain. Look for the beauty of the sunrise (or sunset, if you aren’t an early riser), or the bloom of flowers, or the laughter of children at a playground. Or, as these three people did, look for ways to create joy for others. Take someone fishing. Play a board game. Share your favorite TV show or movie. Go for a walk, go for a meal, go for a trip. Talk. Listen. Enjoy.

I remember after my own mother died, over 25 years ago, how all emotions are so close to the surface. You might burst into tears at any moment, but are equally likely to burst into laughter at a memory or silly comment. And that not only is okay, it is the only way to survive. I want to bring joy to other people daily–and doing that brings me joy as well. What better legacy can there be, but that people remember how you made them happy? So get out there and create smiles, for others, and for yourself. It can’t take the pain away, but it may make it more bearable. As Walt Disney said, “After the rain, the sun will reappear. There is life. After the pain, the joy will still be here.” Find some joy today.