I didn’t hear that

My ears must be shaped funny. For me, there is no such thing as a comfortable pair of headphones. Or earbuds. Or earphones. Or anything else that purports to help me hear things without sharing the sound with the world. Air pods fall out. Headphones hurt my ears–both the little foam-covered ones and the big noise cancelling ones, and everything in between. When walking in loud places (like beside a well-traveled street), I’ve resorted to a pair of wired in-ear buds, but the only way I can keep them in my ears is to wrap the wire around my ear before sticking the bud in (yes, it looks as ridiculous as it sounds). And even then, I generally only hear sound through one ear. (Usually, but not always, my right ear. Maybe because I’m right-handed?) I don’t know what will happen when my hearing goes entirely–perhaps I’ll have to strap hearing aids to a headband (although headbands are generally uncomfortable too…maybe my whole head is oddly shaped?) I never hear anything about other people having this problem. I see people with earbuds in everywhere. In the office, on the street, in my home. So, the natural conclusion is that it is my ears which are, er, unusual.

Perhaps it is for this reason that I am hyper-aware of people who listen to their music/podcasts/murder mysteries (yeah, I’m the last one) without any kind of personal listening device. I have convinced myself that doing so is okay when I’m on an outdoor walk in a park or other relatively quiet place because others only hear my book for a few moments, while I’m racing past them (or more often, being raced past). The few times that I run across someone else not using a listening device, I will get distracted trying to figure out what they are listening to–which is sort of a mini mystery that I enjoy. (Podcast? Sports radio? Rap music? Darn it, now I have to rewind my own book.) I generally don’t listen to anything while on airplanes because of the ear discomfort (good thing I like to read), but that doesn’t stop me from being annoyed when others do. (Of course, those folks often are kids, and I well remember the joy of traveling with toddlers without video or audio distractions. Did you know that the airsick bag makes a great hand puppet?)

Decades ago, when I was in high school, the Sony Walkman revolutionized personal music. No longer did people have to carry boom boxes (remember those?) around on their shoulders, sharing music with the neighbors. Now you could keep your music to yourself–if you had normal ears. I was so excited to get my first one, only to discover that I could use it only for short periods without my ears feeling like they were going to fall off. So, no revolution for me. I don’t even like holding a telephone to my ear…that’s what the “speaker” button is for.

Of course, there are still those folks who WANT to share their music, or phone calls, or recorded books, or at least don’t care who hears them. The volume of their car stereos proves it. I’ve never understood the point of that, either, and suspect that those over-sharers will be among the first to need hearing aids as they age. Hopefully their ears are perfectly shaped, or the stereos may get even louder.