I used to be better at this!

Today is Thursday, and I will be going to the grocery store. I also went to the grocery store on Wednesday. And Tuesday. And Monday. Monday was the biggest haul, but each day I realize there is something I need for dinner or breakfast that I don’t have. (Not for lunch. Lunch is always a free for all around here.) It wasn’t always this way.

Back in the day, when I was working full time and had three littles at home, I had to be much more organized. Every Saturday, I would plan the menu for the upcoming week (which often was posted on the chalkboard in the entryway, thereby forestalling the daily “what’s for dinner” question). I made a weekly grocery list based on the menu, checking the pantry and fridge to make sure the staples were replenished as well. I even kept a list in the pantry, so any time I used the end of something I’d add it to the list. I was thrifty and thoughtful about it, making enchiladas out of leftover pot roast, quesadillas out of leftover chicken, and recycling other leftovers into various new dishes (mostly Tex-Mex for some reason). The grocery shopping was a team effort between myself and my husband, which we would do after our Sunday morning church service while the kids were still in Sunday school. How efficient! How effective!

All of that is out the window. The kids are in and out, and I rarely know who is going to be here for dinner (which sometimes changes last minute anyway). There might be friends or girlfriends along for dinner (don’t forget about the nut allergy!), or there might not. And for some reason I stopped making menus. So now, I find myself out of things, or changing my mind about what to serve, or just craving something new. Fortunately, I now have the time for that!

One of the things I am trying to teach myself in retirement is that it’s okay to slow down. It’s okay not to plan my entire week down to the minute, or even the hour. The result of that may be multiple daily visits to the grocery store–and that’s okay. I often remember a scene from Lethal Weapon 2 where Riggs (Mel Gibson) finds his almost-girlfriend, Rika (Patsy Kensit) in a grocery store, where she has one carrot in her basket. He asks her if she goes to the grocery store every day, and why. She says “There’s no point shopping every week. I never know what I’ll be hungry for from one day to the next.” Even in 1989 when that movie came out (when I still was a wee young thing in college), I was fascinated by that sort of live-by-the-seat-of-your-pants attitude. Not planning ahead? Who could actually live like that? Now I’m learning that there is some freedom in that method, even if it results in more total time shopping.

My middle son is the member of my family most like Rika. He likes to go with the flow and fill his free time with impromptu gatherings and improvised meals. To meet his need for spur-of-the-moment activities and balance it with my need for precision when we travel, I try to schedule in unscheduled time (yes, I realize that is sort of ridiculous). That way I make sure to leave time to be spontaneous. (Again, I know, but I’m Type A. Spontaneity is difficult for me.) But even Spenser sometimes misses my meal planning, I think. He recently filled in the chalkboard with “dinner” plans, although the only meal actually planned was leftovers. I can’t decide if I prefer “frolicking” or “shenanigans” for supper, but I’m sure the leftovers will be delicious.